Movie Madness - Scary Movie 5

The first Scary Movie back in 2000 is probably responsible for what spoof as morphed into today - how do I put it - a more superficial parody (that sometimes think it's worth spoofing that was already mean't to be funny or thinks worth mentioning something that is relevant at the moment in time will get a positive reaction from the audience) and while the first Scary Movie was a class about the stuff that was to come from Seltzer and Friedberg (who where actually among the writers on Scary Movie), it's obviously all a million miles away from Airplane, The Naked Gun or the work of Mel Brooks.

It feels weird that they brought back the Scary Movie franchise in 2013 after the previous installment in 2006 which is quite the gap, series star Anna Faris is nowhere to found instead we get the former Disney Princess Ashley Tisdale taking over lead female duties.

While it's not as groan worthy as anything like (Friedberg and Seltzer's) Disaster Movie it's just never that funny most of the time, which you know is something I and others like in their comedy - though to be fair there is a couple of decent gags in there which I'll mention in a bit, but I do think the films opening scene with Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan - as themselves - set the tone for the rest of the fun. The two are game in making fun of their very public personas but it's just not that funny - and is it slander to suggest both might have got paid in crack.

However this is yet another spoof that spoofs movies or pop culture that as no relation to it's genre it's mean't to be parodying rather then what's hot at the moment. I can let Black Swan pass because there was horror elements in there somewhere but 50 Shades Of Gray? Inception? Tyler Perry's Madea? or Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes? - though to be fair it does parody it's fair share of horror including Paranormal Activity, Mama and The Evil Dead (the remake not the original classic).

Now to the two bits that raised a smile - which where the Evil Dead bit with reading of the book and the Black Swan lesbian scene parody - not the full scene but clips to show the act (like two hot dogs bun colliding) well it was the two train tunnels hitting each other that made me laugh, hey I never said it was going to be highbrow.

Tisdale, I've always found very likable - from the clips I've seen of High School Musical (never sat and watched a full one), to the guilty pleasure of The Suite Life Of Zack and Cody, I kind of wish her career was in a stronger place right now so she doesn't have to be in the likes of Scary Movie 5.

Overall, it doesn't give me negative feelings like some spoofs have, but it struggled to be funny most of it's very short running time, so it at least it flew by, I'd honestly say you should give it a miss.

Movie Madness - What's Eating Gilbert Grape?

So what is eating Gilbert Grape? Well a lot really... a dangerously obese mother who hasn't left the house in years, a brother who severe learning difficulties (who is about to turn 18 and wasn't expected to live past 10) and he's stuck as the "responsible" one in his family in a dead end town.

I'll flashback to something more personal for me related to this movie when I first saw it. Which was in my teen years while I was still at school before seeing this I used to make jokes about a friends overweight mother and while mother wasn't as heavy as the mother here - I guess the film told me not to judge people based on their size. So there you go ladies and gentlemen films can make a difference.

But how I would I rate Gilbert Grape? Well to me it's a well made film with some great characters but it does perhaps lay it on a little thick in getting you to feel the emotions it wants.

I'll talk about the two performances that people will remember most from the movie , firstly Leonardo DiCaprio as Gilbert's younger brother Arnie - the aforementioned brother - who steals focus anytime he is on screen and proving if you go "full retard" sometimes it works (that's a Tropic Thunder reference if you didn't know), the performance is that great and he really captures a line that Gilbert says early in the film "...some days you want to kill him" - giving you a great overall feeling what it would be like if you had a Arnie in your life. 

The other performance is Darlene Cates as his mother, who really was housebound for years and I think it was a talk show appearence that caught the eye of the director Lasse Hallstrom in casting her, as a non-actor she does really well, though there is a couple of line readings that are awkward that you would think that Hallstrom or whoever would have ironed them out. The films best emotional moment for me was when Arnie gets arrested for climbing the water tower one too many times and she leaves the house for the first time in years to get him including gawking from townsfolk.

The rest of the cast are pretty cool, Juliette Lewis perhaps gets the most underwritten role in the whole film but works with what she's got. There's also John C. Reilly obsessesed with a burger franchise coming to town and Crispin Glover in perfect casting as a mortuary assistant as Gilbert's friends. Johnny Depp does carry the film though, I don't think the film would have stuck together as well without him.

Overall a good film, verging on very good with it's main weaknesses only bothering me a little, but the film as so many memorable performances and characters that it's a film worth watching more then once.

Movie Madness - Lovelace

It's probably very fair to question why I chose to watch this movie - if I'm perfectly honest there just be might be a chance I chose this because I might get to see Amanda Seyfried's boobies. I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I don't find Ms. Seyfried very cute and honestly if I do get a chance to see her boobies it won't be their first time, the reason I did choose this though honestly was because I was interested in the story of Linda Lovelace.

While I've never seen Deep Throat - I as a film fan are of course familiar with it, in all it's fame, infamy and impact - I did see (and like) the documentary Inside Deep Throat and have read up on the film and Lovelace in a book I read a long time ago that I can't quite remember the title of (it could be Jonathan Ross' Incredinly Strange Film Book but don't quote me on that).

And even though Seyfried doesn't look much like Lovelace (Seyfried in my opinion is prettier) she carries the film admirably - it's just the film around her isn't completely up to the task. I might as well compare it to Boogie Nights (being that was a thinly veiled retelling of the John Holmes story) because it does remind me of the what that film did (and better) - it was able to show the massive highs and the massive lows in the porn industry at that time but I just don't think the film fits together that good.

I just don't think it really captures enough how big of a film Deep Throat was. It also felt like the second half of the film grabbed you less. Lovelace's husband played by Peter Sarsgaard does things like pimp her out and beat her (there are signs of this earlier) but I wish it showed a more slow decline for Lovelace rather then just automatically going from glamour to shitsville (and missing key years).

And yes Seyfried does show her boobs - nice ones at that - a couple of times they are good but in other times in less then erotic circumstances to put if nicely. As for the cast you can't fault Seyfried or Sarsgaard who makes his character work just well enough despite almost being on the verge of being a 2D villain. Also in the cast is Sharon Stone's as Lovelace's mother and is virtually unrecognizable (seriously it was about her fourth scene before the penny dropped), there is also a bunch of cameos that range from fun (James Franco as Hugh Hefner) to pointless (Chloé Sevigny with what two lines).

Overall, I just wished for more from this film, the story of Lovelace to make was capable of being a brilliant film, but this just feels far from it and honestly if they wanted to make a second go of I wouldn't object to Seyfried getting a second go. To be fair the movie as decent moments but it just doesn't keep my interest like it should.

Pilot Zone - Out Of Practice

In my humble opinion the pilot Out of Practice commits the ultimate sin of a sit-com - it's not funny - now I'm not saying it's groan-worthy or even on the opposite side and the funny needs to be gutbustingly hilarious (a smile from me every now and then will do) it just sort of exists which is a shame since behind the scenes it was created by Christopher Lloyd (why he goes by that name I don't know as it just confuses him with the actor) and Joe Keenan who where both and Lloyd's other credits have included The Golden Girls, Wings and more recently Modern Family, so yes the credentials are certainly there.

That's without bringing up the cast we have Henry Winkler (during an era he was playing the brilliant Barry Zuckercorn on Arrested Development), Stockard Channing and Ty Burrell in the cast as well as Paula Marshall (who I have to admit mostly associate with Veronica Mars). So yeah the bits and pieces are there.

I'm not sure where it went wrong for me, the premise has potential in that sit-com sort of way - a family of doctors in varying different fields (private practice, emergency room, plastic surgery etc.) but it all just feels flaccid, the parents are divorced and the father even as a younger model (Jennifer Tilly here, Lloyd I'm assuming took the idea to Modern Family), it's all sit-com 101 and very often works but just not here.

Lloyd I'm assuming gained some affection for Burrell from this taking him along to another failed sit-com (Back To You) in 2007 before both getting success with Modern Family in 2009.

Maybe the show gets better from here, it might have found it's legs within a couple of episodes but it didn't really give me much of a desire to follow on despite the talent involved.

Pilot Zone - The Tortellis

History will say that Cheers was a very successful show that had a very successful spin-off - Frasier - and there is no denying there is truth to this, but most people - I bet even avid Cheers watchers at the time - don't know that Frasier wasn't the first spin-off, you have to go back to 1987 when The Tortellis had a 13 episode run.

Now I went into The Tortellis with very low expectations - I had heard it was terrible - and to be honest because of these expectations what I watched wasn't terrible, I mean I can see why it didn't last - I mean the four who came over from Cheers where entertaining in small doses but you could see spending 30 minutes with them every week as getting tiresome fairly quickly.

We do have a Cheers regular show up in the shows opening scene, and it's unsurprisingly his ex-wife Carla, who appears in Nick's dream which is about him in the afterlife (other info I could find said Norm and Cliff show up in a later episode).

There is an attempt to make Nick more likable, because it was clear from his Cheers appearances it wasn't always his most notable trait and even as Nick getting upset when Loretta's sister Charlotte makes fun of an accomplishment of his. Speaking of Charlotte she seems to fit the typical sit-com staple of snarky friend (or this case sister-in-law) and even has the cute kid troupe of her own.

Though it was a failure, it was an admirable attempt to make a sit-com out of one of the lower-life recurring characters on Cheers and maybe the US sit-com world was just not ready for a main character so rough around the edges.

Welcome

Why have I called this blog FMTWL? Well it's simply the things that appeal to me - Film, Music, Television, Wrestling and Life. Hello my name is Augustus von Schumacher, that's what I am calling myself - let's just pretend it's my real name for the purpose of this blog.